asthehawkflies | [#000] Appointments

[She listens to what he says and to what he doesn't, her gaze intent once more, picking up his reactions and reading them just as easily. When he looks away, she shifts closer, bumping his shoulder with hers in a fond nudge, letting her arm come to rest against his own in silent support and comfort.]

Tell me?

[She nods as he explains, biting back a smile at his description of Rogers, because yeah, there was no one like the Captain, she was certain.] You are part of the team. You knew Fury was angling us that way. And everyone on that team barely knows each other. Except for you and I, we have a bit of an advantage, at least. But we all fought together during the invasion. Sometimes side by side and back to back. You know as well as I do that you don't come out of a fight like that without a connection.

[Except he'd missed that part of it, so she wasn't surprised that he felt at odds with the team still. She wondered if anything here had changed that yet? And wasn't sure if that made it better or worse...]

[He leans towards her, grateful for the comfort. It was easier to offer it than accept it, and he hadn't exactly let anyone get close enough to offer much.]

I thought I was fine. Stark didn't realise I didn't know about Coulson and he let slip that Loki had killed him.

I tried to kill him. Couldn't think of anything else, like it was the one last push I needed over the edge. No recon, no care. I was just... angry.

There was a kid there, one that Loki had taken a liking to. She saw when I shot him. Wasn't hurt but... [He's an assassin. She can guess how much of a screw up that was for him.]

Loki he... he caught me. Cut through my biceps. Thought I was gonna be crippled.

[And he can't quite bring himself to look at her because even now, there's part of him which is always going to be waiting for people to walk away.]

I know what he intended for us. From my point of view though, after what happened... kind of expecting a cell more than a promotion.

Yes, well. You always were a bit of an idiot.

[It's said with fondness, no sting in the words, because her calling him that is more an endearment than anything. She listens to what he says, both about the incident with Loki and his expectations back home. Wishing she'd been here does no good; what's done is done. She knew that sort of rage, just as she knew the dangers of giving in to it. She doesn't miss the way he curls into himself, can't lift his head to meet her gaze, and that tells her more than anything what he's thinking right now, so she nudges him again, then lays her head against his shoulder, her arm snaking its way around his waist as she tugged him close against her side.]

Going after him alone with no plan, no back-up... that was foolish. You're smarter than that. Better. Although I can't say I didn't want to do the same when I heard about you. When I heard about Coulson.

[Loki had proven himself to be a master of finding the best place to strike that would do the most damage. Even her, in some ways, and that was not so easy a thing to do. Although the buttons of guilt he'd tried to push hadn't been the ones that had compromised her, in the end.

She nudges him again, picking her head up to look at him, her gaze firm.] Don't do it again. Don't think I won't kick your ass and tie you up somewhere if you so much as consider it.

[Natasha let her gaze drop to his arms when he mentions being caught. She's not worried - he pulled his bow on her upon entering, after all, so obviously he's not hurt as badly now as he was.] You're not, though. Far from it. You've been training. A lot. [Yeah, Clint, she noticed that.]

You don't have a cell. Not for that. Actions taken under that kind of situation aren't going to be held against you. That wasn't you, Clint.

[He tenses at the contact for a moment, shuddering before he relaxes into the touch. It's familiar and comfortable and he leans his head against hers, arm sliding around her shoulders to hold her close.]

It was sloppy. Stupid. I made the whole situation worse. I would've done the same if it'd been you too.

[If Natasha had been killed, or, god forbid, he'd succeeded in killing her on the helicarrier, he doesn't think there would have been any power strong enough to stop him going after Loki.

He can't avoid that kind of insistence and he meets her eyes before nodding.]

I won't. I promise. Been a couple of times I would dearly have loved to though.

[He winces at her comment and glances down at his hands. They're scabbed and torn up worse than normal, a couple of the cuts from the strings worn raw.]

Yeah well, there's not a whole lot else to do. Too much time to think and no other outlet.

I know. I know that. Believing it might take longer. He... it wasn't like I was just mindlessly obeying. It changed me, my loyalties. I made suggestions, volunteered information without being asked.

Edited 2012-11-13 23:43 (UTC)

[He can see the skill that she has, the strength in her body, the clean lines and certain movements. He can appreciate stance, the control it takes to maintain such positions.

What was said to her though, that he doesn't quite understand, although maybe he understands enough.]

Your heart isn't in it.

I mean, I don't know anything about dancing, but I know when you shoot, you have to dedicate yourself entirely to the shot.

You're not the only one. But you can't afford to be sloppy. Especially not now. So tell me about this truce we have instead. Was that Rogers' doing? Or someone else's?

[She reaches out with her free hand, brushes a finger over one scabbed knuckle, her touch whisper-light as she frowns at the sight of his hands, the evidence of so much punishment]

You think too much. I'm sure we can think up another outlet for you that doesn't involve this.

[She squeezed his wrist lightly, her head tipping against his shoulder in a slight nod. She understood that all too well.] You also missed a kill shot on both Fury and Hill. And you didn't kill me.

[When can he ever afford to be sloppy? It nearly got him killed and it was only luck that people had come to help him.]

Steve warned the whole place about Loki when Loki arrived, from what I've heard. But while we can watch, we can't do anything unless he strikes first. People aren't too keen on grudges from home spilling over.

[He turns his hand when she touches it, letting her see the extent of the damage.]

I'm open to suggestions. I've worked a few days at one of the shops in town.

[He'd missed, huh? That gave him paused and was a relief.]

Loki wanted to know why I'd failed to kill Fury.

[The thought of killing her freezes him to the core.]</small. You're alive. And you're here and real.

No, I can imagine not. Not in a contained space like this. [She frowns, because she knows just how easy it would be for the bloodshed to spill over, escalate out of control. While she doesn't trust Loki, she can see the sense in it. They were all held here, even him. New enemies often made allies in the strangest of places. Something else she knew better than anyone.]

You, in a shop? Doing what? [It surprises her at first, but as she thinks about it, she can picture it. Besides, keeping busy is good. He can't spend all day every day on the range.

Her fingers skim lightly against his palm as she rests against him, not moving away, though she feels the tension in him at the end.]

I am. You didn't hurt me, Clint. [She pauses, then tilts her head back just far enough that she can see his face. One corner of her lips quirks upwards.] It got pretty rough though. And then you pulled my hair. Asshole.

Apparently.

[She hesitates a bit before the next step, rolling it around in her mind.]

It was everything I have trained for, the better part of a decade has been dedicated solely to preparing for this audition. Drilling, competing, leaving Rouen for Paris- everything. This is something I could have been told. Should have been told at the beginning. You cannot learn to emote in dance.

Either you can or you cannot. All the steps in the world and all this time and no one ever...

And not when the Malnosso can send us to war at the drop of a hat. Even children and civilians.

[He shrugs at the question.]

Moving things that Rogue tells me to move, mostly. It passes the time and she's good company.

[And he's been giving it a good try at spending all day, every day, in the range, or at least training.

He smirks at her, matching her expression.]

As I recall, you bit me.

It wouldn't be the first time children and civilians are sent to war.

[It's spoke softly, but he knows, and she knows he does. That doesn't excuse it, make it right, but the concept is not one foreign to her. It's also not one she makes as much objection over as some of the others would on her team. War makes many things happen that never should.

She laughs softly when he tells her what he does, her eyes warming in affectionate amusement.] Yes, that does sound like it would be a good fit for you. I'm glad you've found something useful to do to keep out of trouble. I'm sure Coulson will appreciate not having to check the rafters or deal with complaints of innocent bystanders being shot with suction arrows.

[When he smirks at her, she playfully slugs him in the arm.] You deserved it. That was a low blow, Barton.

Edited 2012-11-14 13:54 (UTC)

I know. Doesn't mean I can't hate it.

[His arm tightens around her for a moment, pulling her close. He'd been young when he'd fallen into this life, but she'd been younger, much younger.

He gives her a wry look for that.]

Which part? The heavy lifting or having someone tell me what to do?

Anyone in SHIELD who can't dodge deserves to get hit by one.

[They should be paying him extra for training really.

He made a show of rubbing his arm and looking hurt after she hit him, mock glaring at her.]

Yeah, I must've missed the lecture on 'honourable combat for assassins'.

[He falls silent again, regarding her searchingly for a moment. She's not injured but...]

What about you? I heard you waded into a war. That's not like you.

What did Loki do to you?

[Because she's a spy, not a soldier. Her battlefield is elsewhere.]

[Phil is currently unaware of the apartments third, unexpected but not unwanted occupant. After walking the village like he had gotten in the habit of doing before he left and returned, he heads back to the apartment, pondering if he should have another cup of coffee or perhaps something with less caffeine.

The cold is starting to get to him for the first time, making his chest ache and his breathing harsh so something nice and hot to warm him up would be good.

After hitting the CH5 kitchen and making up a thermos of hot chocolate ~~don't judge him, hot chocolate is awesome~~ Phil heads to the apartment.

He doesn't bother to knock, after all he lives there, and so simply walks straight in. There are two voices, both intimately familiar yet only one he knew should be here and the other-

Phil looks up eyes zeroing in on the couch and it's two occupants. He doesn't drop the thermos in absolute shock but it's a near thing. Instead his eye widen and his wings open partly.]

Natasha?

[Well, she must be the real deal because otherwise Clint wouldn't be sitting with her. Still, it is rather a shock, but a good one. Phil feels his mouth want to smile and lets the expression come for once instead of turning it into his usual bland smile.]

Edited (html fail) 2012-11-14 19:51 (UTC)

No. It doesn't. [She can't argue that, so she just leans a little closer when his arm tightens about her shoulders, her own snug about his waist. Still, she smiles when he responds to the teasing, a hint of impish amusement creeping into her expression.]

Both? And yes, I would have to agree with that. But that's also more than half of the junior agents, so I can't imagine how much paperwork that generated.

You probably slept through it. Maybe Hill was teaching it.

[When Clint turns serious, she knows what he's going to ask her before he even opens his mouth. She glances down, trying to figure out what to say, how to say it. Fortunately, she's interrupted before she gets the chance. The door opens and her head comes up, because she knows who it will be. Hopes. Still felt that vise grip around her ribs when she meets his gaze.

Coulson.

[Her voice is soft, choked a little. There is part of her that wants to get up and fling herself at him, but she doesn't move, merely meets his gaze, her lips curving into a tiny crooked smile, her eyes bright and warm.]

It's good to see you, sir.

Ow, my masculine pride.

[He's grinning as he says it, a teasing tone entering his voice.]

The sooner they learn how much paperwork SHIELD entails, the better. They should consider it a bonding experience.

That was their first mistake then. Well, second. After assuming that there is any need for combat to be honourable.

[And then she's looking away and oh, that is not a good sign. He feels himself tensing up, wanting little more than to hunt Loki down for whatever he'd done to her. He'd wrap him up and deliver him to her on a platter.

He doesn't get an answer, and maybe that's for the best. One less painful reminder for the day.

His hand rubs lightly against Natasha's side, because for them, this is practically an emotional breakdown. He grins at Coulson.]

So, we're all here. When do we take over the world?

[Phil closes the door behind him even as he looks Natasha over. Checking for injuries like he has always done after a hard mission.

From the way her voice goes he know she is from after he dies. His smile softens and becomes slightly bittersweet.]

Good to see you too.

[Phil walks towards the couch until he stands a comfortable distance in front of the duo. He gives Clint an amused look at his quip before deadpanning an answer.]

As soon as the paperwork is done.

[His wings rustle sightly and Phil look mildly annoyed before he folds them against his back again. If they were more demonstrative people he would extend his hand so he could pull Natasha into a hug, because it is good to see her again. But they are not, so he makes no motion for physical reassurance.]

Glad you're safe.

[She gives a quiet scoff, her own wings twitching against the pressure of Clint's arm behind her and for a moment her expression is a mirror of her handler's, because really, that is so inconvenient and something she's going to start working on first thing tomorrow. Instead, her elbow nudges Clint's ribs for his jibe.

Not that it's far fetched. She was sure, between the three of them, they could make a fairly convincing power play, if they determined to do so.]

It was Clint's suggestion. I think he should get to fill it all out.

[Coulson's gaze on her is a familiar thing and she watches him do so, a faint smile ghosting over her lips]

You too, sir. Maybe between the two of us we can keep this one out of trouble. I hear another large chunk of the team is with us as well.

[He drops his head back against the back of the couch, groaning softly.]

I swear, when I'm an evil overlord, I will have minions to do paperwork for me.

[And maybe it isn't quite the comfortable joke that it had been, and he doesn't manage his normal levity but he'll be damned if he lets Loki take everything from him.

He raises an eyebrow at them both, disapproving.]

I am a perfectly capable adult. I've been here for two months and have managed to survive. I have friendly acquaintances and everything.

Was it ever your choice? To dance, I mean.

[He'd always got the impression that she'd been forced into it because it was expected of her, not because of any great desire or love for the art.]

I'm sorry.

What will you do now?

I...I don't know. I enjoy it, yes, for all that it frustrates me to remain so very inadequate a performer but...I had to do something. It was the one thing I was capable of managing with any sort of skill. I always heard the same issue with every other variation of what we are expected to do.

[Did she simply force herself to learn to enjoy it because she had no choice? It seems quite likely. She falters in the next step, slows to a stop to stare at the mirrored wall.]

Technical. I was too technical for painting, writing, sculpting, acting. Dance seemed the one place where I would not be faulted for it.

...

I don't know. I. [Her voice cracks, her shoulders go rigid.] I've wasted a decade for this and for what?

[Technical. Almost anything else and technically perfect would have been perfect. And yet her family had just pushed her into things she had no care for. It made him hurt for her.]

You ever thought that maybe your talents lie with something where technically perfect is a good thing?

[He hears the crack in her voice and winces, then reaches out to rest a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly.]

Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry. You're brilliant. Smart and talented and I'm sorry your family can't see that.

It doesn't matter if I consider that now, does it? It is what I will do, apparently. Surgery is as far from art as one could possibly be without going into theoretical physics.

[Knowing that, hearing of the apparent inevitability of it chafes. As much as medicine fascinates her, as much as she can rationalize why this wasn't the right path for her knowing she has wasted a decade on this, that she's failed so very clearly just. It burns. And she hates it.]

You were right. It's. Family's overrated. Marie or my mother or my grandmother would have been able to tell me years ago and they didn't. [A bitter little laugh follows.] They probably didn't care.

I don't know. I don't know if it's set in stone for you, or if you can change it.

And, maybe it's not traditional art, but... for me at least, there's art in something like that. Even for me, something like shooting, there's beauty in working out the vectors and trajectories, a perfect arc and a clean shot.

Not dancing, but it's precision, and that's art too.

[And he probably sounded ridiculous, but words had never been his forte.]

For what it's worth, it doesn't sound like they did it maliciously. People are pretty good at seeing what they want to see.

I don't remember this place when I return home. I think it a dream. Nothing more. Why change one's life over a dream?

[She sags, dropping back onto her heels. While not eloquently put Clint makes a great deal more sense to her than all the pretty speeches she's heard about the grand nature of art and emotion. It fit.]

The clarity of mathematics and physics.

[It takes a moment before she starts to reel everything in, like usual. Playing the good little LeBlanc and tucking away her frustration, her discontent.

And then thinks. No. Fuck it. She's tired of that. And here? No one would judge her for it.]

It's always been fairly easy for them to ignore me. I can't blame them for it, they don't know what to do with me. But it still...it fucking sucks.

[Alright. Swearing? Liberating.]

People have changed the world over dreams. It's not that strange.

[He gives a brief nod at that. She puts it much more eloquently than he could.

And then she's swearing and he can't help but grin at that. Considering last time they'd talked, she'd spoken about how swearing was beneath her.]

It does. Feeling like you're a burden, like you're unwanted. It's pretty fucking crap.

[#000] Appointments

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[#000] Appointments

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Re: [Action | Tuesday, November 13th] Cooooooooulson! *dying whale noises*

[Action | Tuesday, November 13th] Cooooooooulson! *dying whale noises*

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Re: [Action | Tuesday, November 13th] Cooooooooulson! dying whale noises

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