asthehawkflies | [#000] Appointments

Why, Saori, I'm shocked to hear you using such language.

[He grins and winks teasingly at her.]

I did. And I am. Trapeze I can do. I can walk a tightrope, juggle.

He can't help but give a soft laugh at that, giving her a strained smile. "Yeah well, have to say that came as a bit of a surprise," he admitted. "He didn't seem like the settling type. Tasha gave me the details on that mission, what she could anyway." He'd enjoyed listening to her rant about what was going on while he was stuck in the middle of Nowheresville, New Mexico.

"I knew there was a reason why I tried to avoid romance," he replied wryly. Too many chances to throw him off balance. Too much risk of getting hurt in ways he wasn't used to dealing with. "I'll decide. I can't leave things how they are. I just... need to figure it out for myself."

"Hey, I deserve some treats now and then. A little candy can't hurt. Unless you think I'm getting fat or something." He followed after her, gaze sharping as he took in the sights. "Oh hell no. I'm not disappointing Pepper. Left is good."

"I'll let you know next time I have to give you a boost," she calls back with a smirk, then heads off to the other side of the street to start her search.

Oh...fuck you.

[She kisses him on the cheek, winking right back.]

And if you're an acrobat, that'll make my training a little easier on you.

"Ouch. You are a cruel woman, Tasha. I'm hurt." He laughs softly and gives her a jaunty wave before heading off in the opposite direction, well aware of his surroundings despite his blase attitude.

Well, if you really want to...

[He gives her a heated look.]

Should I be worried? Gotta admit, been a while since normal training at home was much of a challenge.

That... [Her hand slid lower...her voice slightly huskier than before. She has to admit he's certainly made her bolder.] Could be arranged.

[She just smiles]

I can be a harsh teacher, you know.

Edited 2013-03-31 03:11 (UTC)

[He hisses softly at the teasing promise in her voice, and oh, that voice does terrible things to him.]

Oh well, that's nothing new. I'm good with harsh training.

[Well...it's her turn to be gentle with him, isn't it? After all, teasing and not delivering she knows is the height of cruelty. And she's at least found her feet on this ground.]

Then we'll begin...soon.

[Almost mockingly she finishes her sentence, one finger softly sliding along his chest, mindful of injury and ever so gently. The other hand stops just above his waist, fingers strumming expectantly on muscle. Waiting with a lazy smile on her face, perhaps for permission or perhaps just to increase the anticipation...]

[He opens his mouth to reply to that, but the hand against his chest, sliding slowly down, kind of drives most rational thought out of his head. Not that he's often accused of stuff like rational thought to begin with.

He touches her hand lightly, smiling back just as warm and hungry as she is.]

"He wasn't." There's no point in mincing words; Tony had been wild back then. He still is, honestly, though it manifests itself in other ways. At mention of the time when Natasha had been set up as a spy, however, Pepper frowns. "Those circumstances were especially bad. Worse than normal by far, even for Tony."

And thank goodness for that.

She nods when he says he needs time, glad for the show of resolve. "Sure. I know it isn't easy." Caught caring for two people, and suddenly so afraid of losing one who means a great deal. It isn't an easy position at all, and Pepper doesn't envy Clint for it.

[When he doesn't respond, she reaches lower and pulls down whatever cloth was in the way, her own gown disappearing with a soft shimmer. Leaning in she kisses his cheek gently, then moves on top of him, still careful of his injury. Looking down at him, she gives him a voracious grin, a little shiver running through her as the blanket slides down her bare back.]

I'll be gentle, dearest.

It took some time to reach the decision, but Saori had finally found the answer she needed. What she’d been doing was wrong for her, what she’d done was wrong for him, and where this was going to lead was nowhere good. A god and a mortal trapped in this strange bubble together simply could not be. She could not gift him as she’d gifted Yuuna, and she wouldn’t want to afflict that on someone like him in any event. Immortality was a burden that she’d selfishly foisted on a woman without regard for her feelings and while it had been accepted then she somehow felt that Clint Barton would grow to resent it with time. She did love him though, and that was why this choice was so difficult. But in order for him to be happy and for her to be able to live with herself, she knew what she had to do.

Marco and Morrigan had shown her that, unexpected advice from two unlikely sources, immortal beings both though she never thought to take romantic advice from a pirate and a succubus. The usual mortals she’d surrounded herself with had been oddly absent from home, an odd sort of distance driven between them that was also gnawing at her, albeit for different reasons. Vegeta and Derek had helped provide some perspective, though. None of it really prepared her for the actually of what she was going to do, though. Something she’d never thought to experience.

The afternoon had been spent preparing an enormous basket of food, a sort of ritual for her whenever she was troubled, and something she hoped might smooth over the sting of what she was going to say. Desserts, a full six course bento and various American dishes that were easy to store she packed away inside a rather large basket, along with sake. She thought she might need that, just to make the words come out. However easy it might sound in her head, actually telling someone she loved that she could not be with him was just not a thing that could be said easily. He was a good person, he deserved better than the fate she could offer, but…deep down she still wanted him to hold her and kiss her. And maybe they never would again, but it would be better than entangling him in a lie or a web of misery.

She hadn’t avoided him since reaching the decision, but today with the rain pouring down outside, it seemed the ideal time. Courage forged from the elements, even if she could’ve forced them to bend to her will weeks ago, tempered by a few weeks time, and hammered by resolve to do the right thing for someone she cared about finally spurred her out of her funk.

Stepping out of her house, armored with a parasol and in the single most elaborate kimono she could dream of. Spring blossoms, embroidered with golden thread, a full obi and quite a lot of beadwork were laced with silver that crackled with electricity. Her hair, tied up in an equally elaborate court style from the Ashikaga shogunate, was set off by the beautiful jade pin Clint had given her months before. The very model of Yamato Nadeshiko, Saori made her way from House 44 towards Community House Five ignoring anyone and anything save her mission.

Wherever she walked, the gentle rain gave way to a raging thunderstorm. Lightning lanced out above her, thunder boomed across the village, and the rain came in buckets. She was a goddess prepared for the worst, a lover in desperate need of something to cling to, and a woman who dreaded what was to come. Carefully, she glided across the ground in her wooden sandals, stoically making her way up the stairs. No flying, not this time. She needed the time to steady herself again, the basket still clutched under one arm, the parasol over one shoulder.

Once she finally reached the door, Saori froze for an instant, hand raised to knock. Could she really? Was this the right choice? Reaching up, she fingered the silver locket and the hawk pendant hanging from her neck, but her fingers brushed something else as well. A simple band of silver set with a bluish-white diamond. Yuuna’s ring. A marker of the promise they’d made together. The final bit of steel she needed.

Finally steady, she tapped on the door three times, each knock punctuated by the peal of lightning.

This had to be done.

Edited 2013-05-21 01:01 (UTC)

Weather didn't usually bother him. He'd sat on rooftops and cranes and mountains in freezing rain and storms before and still made perfect shots. It didn't matter. But this? It makes him uneasy in a way that's a little disconcerting. Ah, he was probably just getting wary over nothing. Things had just been setting him on edge recently. Pepper leaving, mallynappings, goddam shifts. None of it led to a restful sort of feeling.

Even with the weather, he'd finished his usual workout so now he was relaxing with a book from the library, waiting for the storm to die down.

...that thunder sounded awfully close.

It took him a moment to catch the sound of the knock when it was drowned beneath the sound of the thunder. He set aside his book and headed over to answer the door.

And stared. Just for a moment.

His gaze lingered, taking in the basket and the stunning kimono and the elaborate hairstyle which the wind and rain had (understandably) done nothing to ruffle. He smiled warmly at her, letting her step inside although her expression didn't do anything to settle his mind right now.

"Hey sweetheart. If I'd known you wanted a picnic I could've set a few things up."

She smiled right back as she stepped inside, a quick little twist of her lip that spoke of distraction. Folding her rather useless parasol, she leaned it against the doorframe and looked him up and down. A good man, a kind man. A worthy man, who deserved better than she could give him. His warm words and the smile that masked his unease at the weather spoke volumes.

Setting down the basket, she stepped in close and gave him a long, lingering hug. Contact would help. It might make this less hard, anyway.

"Hello dearest. I thought I'd make some food, and I made too much. And I know how much you like my cooking."

Pulling back, she nodded again, more steady and certain.

"And I thought I'd come by to talk. There's been some things on my mind. I'm not interrupting you, am I?"

"Careful there, you'll make me feel bad for not dressing up. You look pretty amazing."

Which might just be the understatement of the century. And here he was in jeans and a t-shirt which was clean but that was pretty much all it had going for it.

He hugged her back, happy for the company honestly. The apartment had seemed pretty empty since Coulson had gone and bringing people back was different to going out for a drink with them.

He grinned, gesturing to the empty room. "You know me. Wild parties and drunken escapades. You're fine, Saori."

"You look handsome as always. But if it make you more comfortable..."

In a shimmering flash, the kimono shifts in that way it does sometimes and changes into a Hello Kitty T-Shirt and a pair of jean-shorts. Still Yamato Nadeshiko, just a bit more modern. And an outfit suggested by Yuuna, at that. Equally fitting, and equally armored.

Taking a seat, she waves a hand and the basket drifts to the table of it's own accord so she can look right at him. Best to get this done quickly so she can flee, she thinks. Patting the spot beside her, the goddess nods.

"Come sit. This...is important."

"Maybe a little," he replies warmly, "I really don't feel like changing into a suit right now." Besides, seeing a goddess in a cute cat t-shirt like that is definitely something to remember. Not something that you see every day. Except possibly in Luceti but he was deciding that Luceti just didn't count.

The solemnity though, that earns a raised eyebrow, his humour vanishing in the face of it. "Important. That does not sound so good." He goes to sit down though, taking the seat next to her. "Something is wrong."

Taking a deep breath, she nods. The words stick in her throat for a moment, because she doesn't want to lose him. He's a friend. Her first male companion. And someone she still loves.

"Clint. I...think it's time for us to stop dating. There are things about me that I cannot change and...I love you, and because of that I can't...I won't...ask you to face them."

Saori's eyes close, tears not quite forming under her eyelids. Involuntarily, her shoulders hunch in on themselves, bracing for an explosion...

Edited 2013-05-23 14:58 (UTC)

There's a moment of awkwardness, something unfamiliar between them. They'd usually been fairly relaxed so it just added to the strangeness of the situation. And then she spoke and for a moment he couldn't really process what she was telling him. It just didn't seem... real? Not really. Out of the blue.

He frowns at it, taking a moment to really process what she'd said to him.

"Saori. Have I done something wrong?" he asks, voice gentle. "I don't- this seems very sudden."

"No, that's not it. It's me. I've done things that are wrong. I've been unfaithful and slept with Morrigan. And I-I...I can't make you happy, not like you deserve." She stumbles over her words, one hand clenching and unclenching, the other trembling and on the verge of reaching out to touch him. She doesn't, but it's a near thing, just a few inches away from him. The admission of what happened with Morrigan, at least, she doesn't think will be too much of a wedge between them so she careens onward in a torrent of words.

"It's something I've been trying to process since...I remembered what I forgot. I love you. Please, don't misunderstand that. But...I cannot stay with you like that. Not forever. I can't give you the things you deserve. I-I just...it's...Oh Earth and Stars this is so hard. I want you in my life. You mean so much to me, but you...you'll die. And I won't. You'll grow old...and I never will. And I-I can't make you do that. It...it's wrong. And...and it's beyond me to give you the gift I gave Yuuna. That can be done but once..."

But I'm greedy, and I still love you...

That was a hell of a lot to take in all at once. "Uh..." He's not used to being in this situation at all, not used to relationships and having to read between the lines of what was being said, or if there was any between the lines and he was just... really really confused. Things had seemed to be going pretty well?

He lets out a slow breath and forces himself not to take her hand. She'd have done it herself if she wanted to.

He's not sure how to take the news, but shakes his head. "You do make me happy, Saori," he says, because that at least is true. Something that was never in doubt.

"No-one ever gets forever," he says quietly. He knows that and maybe this is some kind of curse. Always go for the ones who are going to severely outlive him. "Saori, I'm not going anywhere. Not for a long while I hope although I think growing old is being hopeful and-" No, stop talking that is not exactly helpful.

"Your promise. That's what this is about, right? The thing you forgot during the shift."

Now she does reach out, wrapping her hand around his and squeezing gently. She can't not, with the words finally said and things out in the open. If he doesn't pull away, she'll keep her hand there as she goes on, her voice steadier than it had been a moment ago. The worst of it had been let out, now all that was left was to give him the why. And somehow salvage her friendship.

"Clint. You make me happy too. And I don't want us to not...be together. But not like that. I can't. I will have a forever. And I don't want you to see things like that. I know you think otherwise, but dearest...I will look the same when you are old and grey. On your deathbed, because you will make it there, I'll have aged not a day. Can you honestly say that thought wouldn't bother you? Because it bothers me. No man or woman or god is that selfless."

She looks down at his question, though. Still, she holds his hand if he's willing.

"Y-yes and no. I told you before that Yuuna is my lover. Beyond that, she's the person I gave the gift of immortality to. Our fates are linked, forever. She and I will have that eternity, but to be safe and secure we made a promise. To always love one another and remember one another. Even if we do find other people to hold in our hearts. Only, I forgot during the shift. When I remembered, it hit me like a hammer. And that isn't fair to you, either. I love you. And I love her. And if I could I'd give you that forever too. But I can't. You deserve better than to be...entangled in that. She would approve of you, I know she would. And you'd like her too. I think the two of you would be good friends. But...it's not right, me having her forever and you for as long as you live. Even if she's not here...it's greedy, and you deserve someone who can make you happier than I can."

"And I should have told you before, about the promise. You aren't just a lover, and you're far more than a friend. I mean it when I say I love you and I'd do anything for you, especially to make this right. But...I shouldn't ask you to forgive me, or even to accept what I did. I was unfaithful and not honest. But Earth and Stars you cloud my head...so please...forgive me."

He takes her hand, squeezing it back firmly. He doesn't let go. He wants to keep that anchor.

"That- it's not something I haven't thought about before," he said honestly. Difficult not to when you were surrounded by people who were so much more than a normal human. "I don't know." It worried him. The fact that he was probably going to die young had mitigated the feeling somewhat. But here? Where death was impermanent... yeah, it made it that much more immediate.

He listens silently as she explains. That bond... to gift someone with immortality... "Saori, the shift wasn't your fault. The Malnosso screw with people's heads." That he was certain of. No-one should be held responsible for that. "You're trapped in a magic prison. I think you get to be greedy," he added seriously.

He scrubbed his hand across his face a little tiredly because this... this was confusing and it hurt more than he'd imaging this kind of thing would. He'd never known what to expect. "It hurts, hearing it, and I can't say I'm entirely clear on it all, or that I agree," he says bluntly, but there's no anger in his voice. "But... you've never done wrong by me. You're- I love you Saori. It's something I hadn't thought I'd find anywhere. I don't see how there's anything to forgive for being honest."

[#000] Appointments

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Action, May 19th I am sorry for the novel.

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